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Sunday, 9 December 2018

Mindset

Hii :))
Hope you are well :))

Changing my mindset

It's hard, very hard, one of the hardest things I would say you have to go through to grow as a human being. When your little you are told things that make you, YOU that makes our personalities into who we are. Our mindset changes all the time, well I believe it does because a few years ago I was in a happy mindset and for the past two years my mindset hasn't been happy, its been depression.

I've been in therapy since September trying to change my mind-set, its been hard to be honest as 'who actually knows what can change your mind-set??' the only person who knows is yourself when it sorts of clicks. For me, it is sort of clicking now...its hard as every day this year has been taken by Depression i would say and I don't wanna be someone who ALWAAAYS talks about depression but I do wanna share my journey and raise awareness for mental health as that is something I feel passionate about.

A good thing my brother told me was 'you can change your mind-set, its easy''   and obviously I took it in a hard way as when your really low you aren't gonna take it in a good way are you??? your gonna take it in somebody being horrible.  But it is true, only you can change your mind-set and it is easy we are in charge of our brain. All throughout our life we go through bad times, have happy moments, experience heart-break, laugh till we cry, meet new people, meet bad people....life is crazy. But we are in charge of it. Nobody else. There is nobody there with there finger pointing at us saying 'you shall live this life' and if they are well, don't listen. Live your truth.

My truth is starting my music again, doing this blog again, straightening my hair, going to bed at 12 or 1, waking up early...ish. My truth is that.

I thought when I was 15 that at 18 my life would be sorted, I would have everything and it would be amazing. But that isn't the truth and I'm glad about that. I'm glad that I've experienced a lot of things that make me, ME because if I didn't I wouldn't be me.

I don't really know what I'm saying apart from, I'm trying to change my mind-set and its frickin' hard. 2018 has been one tough of a ride that I've sit through with tears in my eyes, dark thoughts going through my mind, losing friends and losing the things I've loved. But at the end of this very sad and grateful year...I've learnt my truth and I'm starting to try and change my mind-set.

                                                        It's hard, but I'll do it.

                                                                     lots of love,
                                                                 Odd Girl Out xx







Tuesday, 20 November 2018

Wow...this is scary

Hii.

urm...wow this is scary.

I haven't properly wrote a 'blog post' for a looooong time or wanted too for about a year.

                        Truth is, 2018 was the year I fell out of love with everything.
           (so my ever so talented drawing is suppose to represent my brain and how everything i love                  has fallen to the ground and got taken over by grey dark HORRIBLE clouds that i wanna                    stamp on so bad grrrrr)

This blog, my singing, my life...it all sort of fell apart around me. Picture a little stick person (very tiny cos im tiny haha) with tons of thoughts around her head in cotton clouds but then the clouds turn dark and all the things she loved started to crumble onto the floor and get swallowed up. As did she...she got swallowed up and couldn't get back out of it.

That was me...and still is me.

I'm scared to write again. Reason...because I'm scared to fail, scared that I'm not anything 'special' and that I haven't got anything positive left in me or any experiences to write about or anything to write about, really.

When I started this blog it was out of love and wanting to sort of 'expresssss myself' and because of Girl Online by Zoella.

I still want to do this blog but I don't know what to do with it?? what to do...what to do....what to do. I want to push myself back into it and creating things I love instead of letting this place turn into a dark negative place like my brain...I want it to be a place where I can look at and feel better. I want it to be somewhere I can escape too when life isn't throwing me the best of cards and just write (i love writing when i was in school i just wrote all the time).

For 2019 my new year resolution is just gonna be to 'fall back in love with everything' instead of making them goals like 'eat healthy'    'go to the gym'    'drink water'  i want to feel love in myself and feel happiness again.

I don't want to say bye to Odd Girl Out because...then I'm failing myself as 'what could it have become??' that will be my question forever. I want it to become somewhere positive, happy and real...sort of like an agony aunt/sister. (lets say big sister).

THE REAL ME .... has no interest in beauty doesn't get it at all and never wears make-up, loves conspiracy theories, unsolved murders and missing person cases, is passionate about mental health, loves giving advice, is obsessed with the law of attraction and the universe, isn't happy all the time, loves music, is quite scared for her future & gets jealous...a lot.

There are a lot of more 'reals' but...i dunno. I just wanted to share it with you. I know this post is nothing festive, nothing to make you excited for christmas but...I just wanted to do this for myself and if you like it, great...if you don't well...I've made myself feel better.

I hope your November is going great and hopefully I'll speak to you more!!

Love,
Odd Girl Out xx

Thursday, 25 October 2018

THE LOCH-NESS MONSTER....IS IT REAL??? A SHARK?? A HOAX??

Hii :))
hope you are well :))

So Creep Week Day 2...what's that gonna be about you say???

Well, its about a legend/myth that is world wide everybody has heard about this legend/myths, its one of the first one's that you find out about (mine was thanks to scooby doo...oh them childhood mems).

And that is....

                                                           THE LOCH NESS MONSTER

The Loch Ness Monster is something that you get told about when you are little, or something you find out instantly. Whether's that from in school in a geography lesson when your talking about Scotland or whether your sat in your friendship group chatting about Urban Legends....or maybe your sitting in front of the telly watching a Scooby Doo Loch Ness Monster movie (yep that was my way of finding out).

As its a legend that I am OBSESSED with finding out whether its real or not and probably my favourite myths/legends of them all....I wanna write a massive blog post to do with it. So let's get into the loch ness monsteeeeer.


                                                                   (famous photo)
So the Loch Ness Monster who is nicknamed Nessie (saw a car with a bumper sticker with 'i heart nessie' on it the other day its a sigggggn haha) is said to live in the Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. There's been sightings from since the sixth century of the Loch Ness Monster from appearing in the middle of the road, to killing someone, to this picture you see right there. (apprently this picture is a hoax but who knows???)

The Loch Ness Monster is often described as large in size with a long neck and one or more humps protruding the water. It was brought to worldwide attention 1933 after a photograph was taken at Loch Ness that looked like there was a monster in the water (it was said to be a hoax).

The word 'monster' was applied to it by 2nd May 1933 by Alex Campbell water baliff for Loch Ness and part time journalist. On 4th August 1933 the Courier published a report by Londoner George Spicer that several weeks earlier, while they were diving around the Loch, he and his wife saw the "nearest approach to a dragon or a pre-historic animal that i have ever seen in my life" with an animal in its mouth. Letters began arriving to the Courier with sightings that they have seen the monster on land and in water. Nobody knew what to call "the monster" as they had called it for a while or "monster fish", "sea serpent" or "dragon". But it was finally know as we know it today...The Loch Ness Monster.

On 6th December 1933 the first photograph of the Loch Ness Monster was taken by Hugh Gray, published in the Daily Express. The Secretary of State in Scotland prevented any attacks to be taken on the monster. In 1934 interest was further piped by the "surgeons photograph". The R.T. Gould published an account of the authors investigation and account of what happened. Over Authors had claimed to see the monster dating to sixth century A.D.

The Earliest report of a monster appearing in the Loch Ness was reported in Life of St.Colombus by Adoman written in the sixth century. According to Adomnán, writing about a century after the events described, Irish monk Saint Columbia was staying in the land of the Pict's with his companions when he encountered local residents burying a man by the River Ness. They explained that the man was swimming in the river when he was attacked by a "water beast" which mauled him and dragged him underwater. Although they tried to rescue him in a boat, he was dead. Colombus sent a follower, Luigne moccu Min, to swim across the river. The beast approached him, but Columbia made the sign of the cross and said: "Go no further. Do not touch the man. Go back at once] The creature stopped as if it had been "pulled back with ropes" and fled, and Colombus men and the Pict's gave thanks for what they perceived as a miracle.

Believers in the monster point to this story, set in the River Ness rather than the loch itself, as evidence for the creature's existence as early as the sixth century.

SIGHTINGS:


  • In October 1871 (or 1872), D. Mackenzie of Balnain reportedly saw an object resembling a log or an upturned boat "wriggling and churning up the water". The object moved slowly at first, disappearing at a faster speed.


  • Modern interest in the monster was sparked by a sighting on 22 July 1933, when George Spicer and his wife saw "a most extraordinary form of animal" cross the road in front of their car.They described the creature as having a large body (about 4 feet (1.2 m) high and 25 feet (8 m) long) and a long, wavy, narrow neck, slightly thicker than an elephant's trunk and as long as the 10–12-foot (3–4 m) width of the road. They saw no limbs. It lurched across the road towards the loch 20 yards (20 m) away, leaving a trail of broken undergrowth in its wake.

  • Hugh Gray's photograph taken near Foyers on 12 November 1933 was the first photograph alleged to depict the monster. It was slightly blurred, and it has been noted that if one looks closely the head of a dog can be seen. Gray had taken his Labrador for a walk that day, and it is suspected that the photograph depicts his dog fetching a stick from the loch.[24] Others have suggested the photograph depicts an otter or a swan.


  • On 5 January 1934, a motorcyclist, Arthur Grant, claimed to have nearly hit the creature while approaching Abriachan (near the north-eastern end of the loch) at about 1 a.m. on a moonlit night.[26] According to Grant, it had a small head attached to a long neck; the creature saw him, and crossed the road back to the loch. Grant, a veterinary student, described it as a cross between a seal and a plesiosaur. He said he dismounted and followed it to the loch, but only saw ripples.

EXPLANATIONS???

Wels Catfish. Steve Felham said that he belives that it is a Wels Catfish as that is no the explanation that he can figure out for now. But still he said, he won't leave until he finds out for sure that is in the water (he lives at loch ness and give up his girlfriend, job and family to move to loch ness to stay in a van to look for the loch-ness monster).

Elephant. Some people believe that it could be an Elephant due to the fact in one picture it looks like there is a trunk but to be honest I doubt there was an Elephant in the Loch..how would it survive???

Shark. Now it could be a Shark, as Sharks live in water and it would be hard to see if a Shark lived there until there was maybe killings or a sighting of a Shark?? but i dunno...it could be a Shark but then the way the Loch-Ness monster is described...does not sound like a Shark to me.

Eel. Now yeah, I guess an Eel could live in the Loch but would it REALLLLLY be described as a monster??? i mean, an Eel is long and they sort of do look like a Loch-Ness Monster but i dunno...it could be true though???

Now there are still sightings to this day...Sightings of tourists seeing 'dark shadows in the water under a boat' 'a head popping up in a water on a photo' 'a giant fin' etc...tons. A good website to visit is 'http://www.lochnesssightings.com/index.asp?pageid=498361  '


I don't know what to believe. I do think there was something there and maybe there is something still there as someone obviously saw something that looked like a 'monster'. But say if they saw it in the Sixth Century...they might call ANYTHING  a monster. 

Hmmm...what do you think???

I do believe there was a Loch-Ness Monster...but do I believe one still exists??? I dunno...I sort of hope so in a way, that would be cool.

Speak later!!
Odd Girl Out xx




Wednesday, 24 October 2018

THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS...WHAT CAUSED IT??

Hii :))
hope you are well :))

So I'm so blimming excited to invite you to something what I have been planning for over a year now and that is....CREEP WEEK!!

Creep Week involves a 7 day period of scary, creepy, weird topics that I wanna share on this little blog and over on my Youtube too (yep 7 days of chloe writing and talking yay yeah!!). I'm so excited for you to see these posts and maybe get involved if you want??? This is one of my passions is showing my love of creepy-ness. So yeah, I'm so excited to start this off....so lets begin...

                                                         THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS

So the Salem Witch Trials begun in 1672 to 1693. Basically, the salem witch trials was where a lot of women got accused of being witches and using witchcraft which led them to being hung and killed. Back then, everyone was scared of witches it was something where if you were a little different, then you would most likely be accused of being a witch.

The Salem Witch Trials happened due to two girls called Betty Paris who was 9 years old and Abigail Williams who was 12 years old (the daughter and niece of Reverend Samuel Paris). The two girls got ill one day and they started to get worse, they were having constant fits and they just weren't getting better...nothing was helping them. So a doctor was called. The doctor was called William Grills and he came to see what was wrong with the girls...he couldn't find anything wrong, so he could only explain it was witchcraft.

A lot of women in the village started to get the same symptoms that the two girls had got so a lot of the villagers started to get scared (as they would back then). As they didn't really know what was happening....'why were people getting ill?? 'who was bewitching the girls??'

A special court was set up in Salem to try and find out who was bewitching the girls and using witchcraft.

Sarah Good, Sarah Osbourne and Titchama was the first people to be arrested and accused of bewitching the two girls and using witchcraft. Every week more was accused and arrested. A belief in the supernatural that  some people believed was  that witches were given power to harm people.

A recent small pox outbreak and an attack of american tribes made everyone even more scared. The first conficted witch Bridget Bishop described as wearing black clothing and odd costumes was hanged on June 10th 1692 at Gallows Hill. 18 more people were executed by hanging after being conficted of being a witch. Several others died in prison. One man was crushed to death by heavy stones as torture.

None of the women were buried alive. 150 more people would be accused of witchcraft. But by September 1672 it has started to calm down.  The last trial ending in 1693.

The people who were excuted were not given a proper burial and were given unmarked graves. Nobody knows where the graves lie. Some people they may be bured on Gallows Hill but accourding to a Salem Tour Guide Gallows hill has the repuation of being really haunted.

In England witch hunts had been going on for 300 years. King Henry Viii's third wife 

If you didn't agree with the children then you would of most likely been seen as a witch so a lot of people just stayed quiet.

They had loads of different ways of testing if someone was a witch. One was a witch cake which was rye and the urine of the person who was apparently bewitched. They would feed the cake to the dog. If the dog started having the same symptoms then they determined that there was witchcraft involved. In Salem 1672 (or 92) 20 men and women were killed.

Women in Europe were not accused for being witches just because they were women it was because they were do the harvesting, they were looking after the children, they were cooking etc. 

William Griggs could not find anything wrong with the girls so he said that it was witchcraft.
Giles Corey chose to endure the torture as he knew him and his family would lose everything if he were to admit witchcraft.

More than 200 people were accused of using witchcraft. it was called 'the devils' magic.

Ann Putmam actually apologized for their deeds and accusations years later. 

Theories on what may have cauuuused the salem witch trials!!!

  • Ergot. Ergot is a fungus with grows on Rye graina nd they knew it existed but thought it was the sun cooking the rye, didn't know they weren't suppose to eat it it was a posion. Does crazy things. Rainy season the fungus was developing underneath. hallucation, consulvations, muscle spasm.
  • Town gossip. people make up rumours, they like to gossip about certain things to just talk and chat (where my nana and grandad live my auntie told me that there use to be loads of women who would gossip on the street).
  • Seasonal depression. Some people believe it was the cold weather that made people go crazy as in the winter you can get pretty bad depression due it to being cold, the dark nights and not being able to do as much as in the Summer (depression can cause a ton of symptoms which could make you feel like things were out of control and like you were getting ill).
  • boredom.one theory claims that the girls were bored as there wasn't much to do in the village so they made up this whole thing about  witches and being bewitched (which i dont get as it was the doctor who said they were bewitched).

So there you have it!! The Salem Witch Trials. That is all the information I could find on the Salem Witch Trials if I have missed any out PLEASE let me know!!! The Salem Witch Trials is something I have been obsessed with for a long time and something I would never want to offend anyone about. I like witches, I'm so interested in it...its just something I've always wanted too talk about.

So yeah...WHAT DO YOU THINK?? DO YOU THINK THAT IT WAS CAUSED BY SOMETHING??? OR DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE WITCHES WERE REAL???

let me know!!

I'll see ya tomorrow at 6!!

Speak later!!
Odd Girl Out xx




Sunday, 21 October 2018

The 'A' Word

Hii :))
hope you are well :))

So the 'A' word, the word that no teenager ever wants to hear they have or wake up to them all over there youthful face...and that word is...A.C.N.E.

When Acne decides to plot on your face and build a little town, its hard to get it to leave (believe me, i had it for nearly 10 years...it just wanted to stay). The little spots, turn into big spots, then turn into under-the skins that turn into bleeding//bursting spots, that turn into painful spots its just a whole load of painful spots.

Acne isn't nice for anyone, as the worst part of it is its on your face where people can see and when your in school or even the work-place people look at your face and when people are looking at your face you do think they are staring at your spots. It does make you feel so uncomfortable and like you just want the clear skin that a girl called Jane has on the last table in History. Your like 'GRRR WHY DOES MY SKIN WANNA JUST LOOK SO BAD???'

I got acne when I was about 8 years old and it went away when I was 16 thanks to help of Roaccutane. Roaccutane changed my life completely for my skin, it made it go away straight away *touch wood*. If your acne is getting worse or affecting your mental health then go straight to the GP where they should be able to help you or if you feel like you want to go on Roaccutane ask your GP there advice and if you should (roaccutane is a very strong drug which can affect the organs in your body and you have to do pregnancy tests and blood tests every month).

But anyway, I wanted to give a few tips to anyone suffering with Acne that is currently in school or any younger person really. Advice that I would of wanted to see and hear as my younger self, would of NEVER thought she would get rid of acne so here a little advice for my younger self for her acne.

The 'A' word...

Dear younger Chloe,

I know your acne is currently on your face spreading as the days go by and it is probably on your back as well. I know it's really painful, very insecuring and I know you spend HOURS wondering why your skin can't be as clear as the 'popular girls' or a Kardashian??? i know a hard life right??? but your skin will clear. One day you won't worry about whether a pimple named Tom Jones is gonna zap right next to yours nose and some-one is gonna point it out.

Also your friends DON'T care about your skin, if they did they wouldn't be friends with you. Yes, your chin may be covered in yellow heads right now and is probably the major point of where your acne is but that is most likely thanks to the teengaer years, hormones & acne. It will go.

Your skin will be as clear as the girl called Jane on the last table in History. But you will still feel insecure, just because Acne goes doesn't mean your confidence is gonna bloom like hell...there will be other struggles but your skin will be clear which is something you have always wanted.

tips:
don't pick your skin as it causes scar (your future self does know this)
spending hours crying over it, isn't worth it...embrace your spots they are a part of you
they will go away one day
friends don't care about your skin, they like you for you
don't put tooth-paste on your skin...it burns and doesn't help
also don't rub banana on it...it still doesn't help
ignore or try to brush up the comments on your skin whoever said them are dealing with there own issues and probably just being an utter arsehole (thanks scottish boy...i do hate you)

love, your future self who has clear skin now x

embrace your acne & embrace your skin


Speak later!!
Odd Girl Out xx
Thursday, 18 October 2018

I like Halloween

Hii :))
hope you are well :))

It's spook month. The month where the little kids dress up as the cute costumes, the teenagers dress up in the 'cute/sexy' costumes & the adults dress up in a mixture of whatever looks good enough.

I love halloween. I've always liked it, even though I don't do anything for it now...i still like it. It's a time of year where you sort of miss it when it's gone, even though I don't celebrate it as much as I would like too I still miss it when it's gone.

I think when I was younger probably 6,7,8,9...i loved trick or treating, the simpsons halloween specials where something me and my brother use to ADORE, eating as much sweets as we humanly possibly could & dressing up as a witch for every halloween (yep i was never that kid who put much effort in for halloween...thanks dad).


Now as I'm older, I think i love halloween for more than the sweets and the halloween specials (sadly i don't go trick or treating anymore...that stopped years ago haha). I love it for Kendall Rae's freak week every year, the halloween isle in Asda every-year my favourite part, carving pumpkins with my brother even if one of ours does fail, buying halloween sweets or chocolate and having a halloween tea party. That's what I like about halloween now (i don't really watch any halloween specials anymore...does any program even do them???).

Halloween will always be a good time of year, as its when the dark nights start and it officially cosy.

I like halloween.

What part of Halloween do you like???


Speak later!!
Odd Girl Out xx



Monday, 15 October 2018

So dark fog...what helps??

Hii :))
hope you are well :))

So, I'm pretty bad at self-care. Making sure to keep an eye on myself to make sure I don't get too stressed, to rest my brain when its getting the dark fog or to eat the right food. I'm pretty bad at all that.

And...I've been pretty bad at figuring out some things what make me feel better when I'm suffering with 'the dark fog'. As it's hard to feel happy with the things in your life never-mind making yourself do something you wouldn't normally do in a depressed state but I've found a few little things what make me feel a little bit better about myself, and help me see the light a little bit or some things, in more of a positive way.

So dark fog...what helps??

Boxing. I know every-body says it, but exercise makes you feel so much better. I hated exercise for a long while, as to be honest I didn't find the exercise for me to do but a few months ago, I was boxing a little bit and decided I wanted to do that. It makes me feel so much better about myself, and I smile after I do a little session as it just makes me feel happier and feel like I've worked my body and took back a little control. I know you see it everywhere in school, in the doctors, on adverts but...exercise does help your mental health.

A bath every night. When your in a really bad state of mind, you don't want to do anything which includes getting clean. It takes over and stops you from the little things like that. But every night, I've been having a bath and it sort of is my routine now and I promise you, it does help and make you feel so much better about yourself. Just getting clean every night can do you wonders. Even though its something so small and even if that's the only thing you have done today (which sometimes it is for me) it is something. It's a change and a routine. It honestly makes you feel 10 times better, I know it's hard but it will help a lot.

A break from my laptop. 'She says whilst typing on her laptop'. But what I mean is, staying on my laptop too long ain't the best for me...it makes me feel weird and all foggy again so I try to just have a break. My laptop for me is something which sort of makes the 'dark fog' worst as it makes me get annoyed and agitated, so the one thing which I try to do if I feel myself getting really bad is go off my laptop and try not to look on social media.

Talking. talking helps a lot. I would say choose one person to talk too who you can tell everything too, someone who makes you feel comfortable and makes you feel less alone. I would say talking gets everything off your chest whether that's to someone like family, friends, someone at school, someone at work or a doctor. Someone who makes you feel comfortable and won't judge.

They are what help me when I am in the dark fog, or suffering with it badly.

I just wanted to write this little post as I was talking to 'wonder woman' about how I wanna talk about my struggles with mental health and sort of make them, into this blog as that is currently where I am in life right now...i wanna turn a negative into a positive.

I do hope this helps you or just makes you feel like one little thing can make you feel the most little bit better about yourself.

Speak later!!
Odd Girl Out xx

Mindset

Hii :)) Hope you are well :)) Changing my mindset It's hard, very hard, one of the hardest things I would say you have to go throug...